Tuesday, January 24, 2006

third point of clarification

Ok, there is at least one more point that I want to clarify. I had intended to talk about the process of deciding to marry someone in particular. I had said that we should not get caught up in trying to find "the one". The pool of options is large (not unlimited, but large). The pool of potential spouses is large, but is limited to those who are in the Lord (Christians). Within this pool, we are called to make wise decisions and are free to marry who we want (1 Cor 7:39).

How did I make the decision to ask Lynn to marry me? Well, at first, I thought she was attractive (that is a grand understatement). I knew she was a believer and committed to Christ (probably more so than myself at that point). She seemed fun and I thought I would like to get to know her more. I wasn't thinking marriage to Lynn at that point, but I was thinking marriage was a possibility in the next few years. I was looking for a wife, not a date, not a kissing buddy.

We went out on our first date, and despite the fact that my ex-girlfriend was our waitress, the date went well. We liked each other. We continued to date and at no point was there anything I saw that would keep me from marrying her, if she would have me.

We continued to date and get to know each other for two years. After graduation, there was a lot of life to sort out - where was I going to seminary, what direction of ministry was I going to pursue, and where was my relationship with Lynn going.

At this point, I prayed a lot. I didn't pray "God show me", but "God, give me wisdom. Open my eyes to things that my affections might be blinding me to." I really don't know what we expect when we pray "God, show me". Do we want lightning or a what? I'm not trying to mock anyone, except myself, cause I've prayed that many times.

As I was praying for wisdom and clear eyes to see with, I also was trying to envision my life with Lynn in it and my life without her in it. It was abundantly clear to me that I much preferred my life with Lynn. I wanted to get married to her, so I asked. She said yes because she wanted to get married to me.

I don't want to make it sound cold and calculated. A large part of why I wanted to marry Lynn and she wanted to marry me was because God had given us a deep love for one another. Our hearts were bound to each other. This played an enormous, though not all important, role in the decision making process. (It is possible for you heart to latch onto something that is unhealthy or sinful, hence the biblical warning to "guard you heart").

So, that was how I met and dated and married Lynn. It was fun. Glad I ain't there any more! Sorry.

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