This morning I will be sharing with the Mom's group at ECC on the topic of family Bible reading. Our family has certainly had it's ups and downs, its trials and errors, and its successes. There have been, shamefully, periods where we've gone months without consistent Bible reading together. And, there's been other periods, more regular and more sustained, when we've read the Bible together faithfully. During all of it, there are a few things we've tried to keep balanced.
1. Regularity vs. Legalism
We certainly want to be regular in our ingestion of God's Word together as a family. But we've not been legalistic about it either. If we miss a night or two, we don't stress about it. Last night we went to my nieces last IU game at home - it was senior night. It was awesome and went into double overtime, ending in an IU win (Karlee played extremely well). We didn't get home late and kids were tired, Caleb still had homework to do, etc.
So, we didn't do devotions last night. Doing so would have been overly burdensome. Insisting we do so would have been legalistic.
Now we have taken, at times, this libertarian approach too far and fallen out of a real habit. That's worse. But you and your family need to find the right balance.
2. Big Story vs. Little Stories
Growing up I knew all the little stories of the Bible. When we played Bible Trivia (and we did often), I was pretty good. Christian school, Sunday school, my parents, my dad's sermons, etc., all taught the stories of Bible.
But it wasn't till much later that I could put these together in a comprehensive way - in a way that reflected an understanding of the Big Story of the Bible.
I think that trend has been reversed in my kids. They know the Grand Story...I've told it over and over again. Our church emphasizes it. We've read devotionals that teach it. But, I'm not sure they know the stories like Gideon, Ehud, the story of the rich man and Lazarus, etc.
Both are important. In fact, the Big Story is hard to tell without certain of the small stories. And the point of the small stories is easy to miss if you can't put them in the context of the Big Story. So find the right balance.
Note: using the word story with your kids...we emphasized that the Bible stories are true stories, not stories like Hansel and Gretel or Dr. Seuss.
3. Moral Lessons vs. God's Provision of Salvation
The Bible stories teach moral lessons. David was a courageous young man. Daniel stood up for what was right. Ruth was loyal. Amen. Our kids need to hear these moral lessons and need to have good exemplars of the faith to model. And, there's biblical precedent for this - simply look at Hebrews 11 where Abraham et al are held up as models of faith leading to action.
But these stories aren't about moral lessons; in fact, Moses, Daniel, David, etc. - they're not the heroes of the stories. God is!
At one point when we were teaching through the stories of the OT, we had a little ritual. I'd tell the story, make my wise, fatherly/pastoral comments, and then end with a question, "What's the point of the story?" The kid's response was "God saves his people!"
Teach the morals, but never lose sight of the real point of the stories!
4. Paraphrases vs. God's Word
Is it ok to use a kids Bible, or a Bible story book that paraphrases the stories, or must we read straight from the Bible?
I think both are good. And I think, again, both have Biblical precedent. When the Israelites crossed the Jordan they erected altars. They were told to so, so that when they passed by later with their children and the children's asked, "what are these?", they'd have the opportunity to tell them the story of God's deliverance. Not read it or recite it, tell it.
But certainly, we're commanded not only to read Scripture but hide it our hearts. Reading the word of God as God inspired it is incredibly important. I remember passages that I never memorized, but I've heard read over and over again. That is so important.
So tell the stories and read the Word. Do both.
5. Age appropriate vs. Challenging
It's hard, especially with several kids, to find the right balance here. What's appropriate for one is very challenging for another (or overly simplistic). We probably lean towards the challenging. Sometimes the youngest may feel it's over his head. But, I've seen a few things happen repeatedly. One they ask questions, and conversations start that are priceless. Two, the older kids take on the role of tutor, and explain it in more simple terms. That's awesome! Three, the younger kids understand way more that I think they do. Four, months later, they'll recall something we discussed. They didn't get it at the time, but now the light bulb went on. Love it!
So we tend to the challenging, maybe not always age appropriate. But if that's all we did, it probably wouldn't work. Sometimes the conversations are more simple...and the older ones know it's not always all about them. Plus, who of us doesn't need to be reminded and dwell on the simple lessons from time to time?
We don't have all this figured out. We did. Then we had kids. My encouragement to you is to struggle through it. Find the time, make the mistakes, do your best. Find the appropriate balance in these areas and pour into your kids, showing them that the content of our faith really matters.
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Thursday, February 23, 2017
Wednesday, January 04, 2017
Shakespeare and Cats
Imagine with me two actors stepping onto stage to do a scene. One of these actors is dressed in a traditional Elizabethan costume - fine, clean, almost regal. The other actor, is in a Cat costume. They begin delivering their lines, and they are very clearly reading from a different script, with a different setting, different use of language, etc.
That was me. And, it is indicative of many churches and the fundamentalist church culture. We were cats on stage in a Shakespearean play. We were out of place, looked odd, talked funny. I wore shirts that said "His Pain, Your Gain." I listened to different music (Petra, Degarmo and Key, Stryper if I was in a spandex mood), read different books, spent my time in different ways (though we had a weakness for movies, so on that point there was commonality between me and my non church friends).
Looking back, there was benefit to this kind of church culture. It was clear we were to be different; we were living a different story. But it is possible that these kinds of superficial differences between the church and the wider surrounding culture can, I'm afraid, mask points of alikeness - even sinful alikeness. We may listen to different music and wear weird tshirts, but do we still love money, worship power, etc.?
Imagine a different, but similar scenario. Two actors walk onto stage, both wearing the same Elizabethan type costume. Both deliver their lines with the same accent, cadence. It takes a little while because of the similarities, but eventually you realize that they too are reading from different scripts. One is reading from Othello, the other Hamlet. Different stories, but similar in more ways than Shakepeare and Cats.
That, I feel is an appropriate illustration for much of modern evangelicalism. We're similar to the wider culture in many ways - and that is not always inappropriate. One can listen to U2, or even Megadeth on occasion and enjoy the talent of these musicians, even be edified by truths the speak of in their lyrics. I can buy some shirts from Old Navy and not all from Christian bookstores. I can read non Christian novels. I watch many of the same shows and movies (though not all) that my non-church going friends do. Many similarities. But many very important differences.
The challenge is that these differences are not always easy to notice. They differences are less superficial and more nuanced, not at the level of fashion or musical preferences, but of loves and priorities. For this reason, it is easy for watchers to think we're reading from the same script, at least for a while.
I think this is true for our kids too; after all, our kids are our biggest watchers. Growing up in a fundamentalist background, we knew we were 'aliens and strangers'. It's not as clear to my kids, I would suspect. The differences aren't as blaring, not as noticeable to the naked eye.
So I, and all parents of kids in evangelical or mainline churches need to be more vigilant, pointing out where the scripts for the Christian and the nonChristian diverge. Our kids need to know that they're living in a different story and a different plot line. It won't be as obvious as when you see a Cat on stage with Romeo, but it's incredibly important. So, we need to be vocal about our loves, motivations, priorities, etc. And, we need to make sure out kids have a firm grip on the central story of God and his people!
We need to do this work of reminding ourselves, and our kids we're in God's story.
That was me. And, it is indicative of many churches and the fundamentalist church culture. We were cats on stage in a Shakespearean play. We were out of place, looked odd, talked funny. I wore shirts that said "His Pain, Your Gain." I listened to different music (Petra, Degarmo and Key, Stryper if I was in a spandex mood), read different books, spent my time in different ways (though we had a weakness for movies, so on that point there was commonality between me and my non church friends).
Looking back, there was benefit to this kind of church culture. It was clear we were to be different; we were living a different story. But it is possible that these kinds of superficial differences between the church and the wider surrounding culture can, I'm afraid, mask points of alikeness - even sinful alikeness. We may listen to different music and wear weird tshirts, but do we still love money, worship power, etc.?
Imagine a different, but similar scenario. Two actors walk onto stage, both wearing the same Elizabethan type costume. Both deliver their lines with the same accent, cadence. It takes a little while because of the similarities, but eventually you realize that they too are reading from different scripts. One is reading from Othello, the other Hamlet. Different stories, but similar in more ways than Shakepeare and Cats.
That, I feel is an appropriate illustration for much of modern evangelicalism. We're similar to the wider culture in many ways - and that is not always inappropriate. One can listen to U2, or even Megadeth on occasion and enjoy the talent of these musicians, even be edified by truths the speak of in their lyrics. I can buy some shirts from Old Navy and not all from Christian bookstores. I can read non Christian novels. I watch many of the same shows and movies (though not all) that my non-church going friends do. Many similarities. But many very important differences.
The challenge is that these differences are not always easy to notice. They differences are less superficial and more nuanced, not at the level of fashion or musical preferences, but of loves and priorities. For this reason, it is easy for watchers to think we're reading from the same script, at least for a while.
I think this is true for our kids too; after all, our kids are our biggest watchers. Growing up in a fundamentalist background, we knew we were 'aliens and strangers'. It's not as clear to my kids, I would suspect. The differences aren't as blaring, not as noticeable to the naked eye.
So I, and all parents of kids in evangelical or mainline churches need to be more vigilant, pointing out where the scripts for the Christian and the nonChristian diverge. Our kids need to know that they're living in a different story and a different plot line. It won't be as obvious as when you see a Cat on stage with Romeo, but it's incredibly important. So, we need to be vocal about our loves, motivations, priorities, etc. And, we need to make sure out kids have a firm grip on the central story of God and his people!
We need to do this work of reminding ourselves, and our kids we're in God's story.
Monday, December 29, 2014
Waugh family fun
Last night was a blast...IU women's game to watch my niece, then dinner and games at home with inlaws, nieces and their friends. Mother Bears, Apples to Apples, Skippo, NBA 2K14 tourney...and so many cookies. Not a quiet night, but a blast.
Monday, December 22, 2014
Weekend Furniture Refit
This past weekend I had to make room for a family Christmas present - a new, bigger TV! We had this nice, rustic pine entertainment center, but the new TV wouldn't fit in the hutch, and the pine finish didn't match any of the wood in our house. So...Dan got to destroy and remake. I had fun. Here's the progress (yes, I'm bragging):
It's not perfect (and the pictures aren't great)...I learned a few things (like shop lighting is really important when sanding/staining). It's still a really deep piece of furniture for the space...but it's not the prefab pressboard stuff I hate either!
It's not perfect (and the pictures aren't great)...I learned a few things (like shop lighting is really important when sanding/staining). It's still a really deep piece of furniture for the space...but it's not the prefab pressboard stuff I hate either!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Spiritual Lessons from Baseball, Part 3
We absolutely love the watching our kids play ball. That's not to say the season doesn't get a little frustrating at times - it gets hot, the schedule seems to change frequently (especially this year in the recreational league), etc. The most frustrating part of having three kids playing baseball on four different teams is having to constantly make decisions about what you're going to miss, and what the kids are going to miss.For example, one of Jacob's games fell on the same night as an end of the year school program. One of Caleb's games was on the same night as the meeting for kids who wanted to play an instrument in band next year. Jake's had to miss games for one team to be at games for the other. (So far, Luke's social calendar includes baseball only, so not too many conflicts for the five year old).
These decisions are hard to make...Jake is committed to both teams. He hates to shaft one for the other. He's committed to his school and class, so hates to miss something there. Caleb loves his team and hated to miss a game to do the band stuff. But sometimes you are left with impossible situations - you aren't choosing between good and bad, but between good and good. You have competing commitments.
To me, this is just a small illustration of one of the big challenges of living the Christian life outside of Eden. Think about all the things that compete for your time, money, energy, etc. Most of them are pretty good. For example, how much time should you give to Bible studies, small groups, church services, etc. Lots? But in doing so you are cutting down on the time you can spend in the community, forging relationships, being salt and light, etc. Hmmm. On the other hand, if you short change your own spiritual growth and the church, will you loose your saltiness? Or take money for instance...should you give to the missionary who asks for support, or to the youth missions trip, or the relief agency in town?
Few of us will ever likely find ourselves in the situation Rahab did when she was forced to lie to protect the Israelite spies - a situation where to commitments/values came into sharp conflict. We are to value life and truth. But, in a broken world, we will often be forced to to make tough decisions about which values and commitments will trump others. Will we be a good employee even when our boss requires us to lie? Will we honor our parents when they demand we act dishonorably? Etc.
Frankly, we just aren't wise enough to see our way clear of a lot of these situations. Yet. We'll make mistakes, poor evaluations...we'll sin even when we're trying to do good. Thank God for his patience and grace. Thank God that he will eventually put the world to right so these situations will no longer ensnare us.
Tuesday, May 01, 2012
Spiritual Lessons from Baseball
Okay, so I spend inordinate amounts of the spring, summer and even fall on a baseball field. We pretty much live there for four months. Last week: three practices on Saturday plus a double header in Bloomfield, two games on Tuesday night, one on Wednesday night, then a tournament Saturday/Sunday in Jasper. Don't get me wrong, we love it. But, putting that much time in on the fields, certain spiritual truths have been confirmed and doors have been opened to teach my kids valuable lessons about life with Christ through a game. This series will be infrequent (like most blog series), and irregular, but I hope profitable to me, my boys, and those who read this blog.
This weekend was a roller coaster for Jake. He played incredibly well and we are always proud of his attitude and work ethic (he was up at 5:45am to hit the road for a 9am game). In the first game of the tournament (a great win for the whole team that played great defense and had timely hitting) Jake had four RBI's and was just solid all around. We looked great in the second game for five of the six innings, but the wheels fell off the buggy in one inning and the opposing team scored four runs on a lot of errors. We found ourselves down 3-4 (Jake had one of those runs and batted another one of the runs in). With one last at bat to tie it up or pull ahead, the first two batters struck out. We were down to our last out. The next three reached on infield bloops and/or errors. So Jake came up with two outs, bases loaded in the last inning. He swang at the first pitch and hit a pretty shard ground ball to the right side of the infield. He was thrown out and the game ended. He was crushed, feeling he had let the team down.
As a parent, it was hard, but good too. It was a character building moment. Jake was upset, and that was good - if he wasn't I would question his competitive drive. But how would he respond? Would he quit, blame others or have a defeatist attitude in the next game?
(It brought to mind this Jordan commercial:)
To me, it seems like that is a situation very parallel to my struggle against sin. Some days I feel triumphant. I feel like I've got old sinful patterns licked - I haven't been rude to Lynn, haven't lost my temper with the boys, haven't let arrogance gain a foothold, etc. Honestly, those days are rare - I'm no Spiritual Allstar!
Other days, I've struck out in the bottom of the ninth - I've let myself, my family, the church, and more importantly my Savior down. I've been a poor witness in the world, done things I ought not have done and left things undone I should have done. I've bit my tongue would I should have spoken, spoken when I should have shut up. Those days happen more frequently than I would like to admit. But, the coach keeps putting me back in the game! I have to decide daily, will I quit and wallow in my sin? Will I just make room for my sin, resigning myself to it? Will I rationalize it and feed it? Or will I shake the dust off and get back in the game?
Jake played great the next game. I wasn't there, but he was quick to tell he wasn't perfect (he went 2 for 4), but a productive and contributing member of the team (with a few RBI's and a couple of runs scored). They won 11-3 and went on to the tournament semifinal where they lost. They ended up taking third place in the tournament (out of eight teams), which is a pretty impressive showing. Certainly they wanted to win instead of lose the semifinal game, but they'll get back up and be ready to fight in the next tournament!
That's all you can ask for. Keep on getting back in there. I pray my family and I learn that lesson in relationship to our spiritual lives too.
Last night we ended Connexion with the song "Give Me Faith." The chorus says, "My flesh may fail, but my God never will." Not exactly. Your flesh will fail, but God calls us to get back up and get in the fight (ok, now I'm mixing my metaphors). And certainly, he gives us the grace and strength to do it.
As a parent, it was hard, but good too. It was a character building moment. Jake was upset, and that was good - if he wasn't I would question his competitive drive. But how would he respond? Would he quit, blame others or have a defeatist attitude in the next game?
(It brought to mind this Jordan commercial:)
To me, it seems like that is a situation very parallel to my struggle against sin. Some days I feel triumphant. I feel like I've got old sinful patterns licked - I haven't been rude to Lynn, haven't lost my temper with the boys, haven't let arrogance gain a foothold, etc. Honestly, those days are rare - I'm no Spiritual Allstar!
Other days, I've struck out in the bottom of the ninth - I've let myself, my family, the church, and more importantly my Savior down. I've been a poor witness in the world, done things I ought not have done and left things undone I should have done. I've bit my tongue would I should have spoken, spoken when I should have shut up. Those days happen more frequently than I would like to admit. But, the coach keeps putting me back in the game! I have to decide daily, will I quit and wallow in my sin? Will I just make room for my sin, resigning myself to it? Will I rationalize it and feed it? Or will I shake the dust off and get back in the game?
Jake played great the next game. I wasn't there, but he was quick to tell he wasn't perfect (he went 2 for 4), but a productive and contributing member of the team (with a few RBI's and a couple of runs scored). They won 11-3 and went on to the tournament semifinal where they lost. They ended up taking third place in the tournament (out of eight teams), which is a pretty impressive showing. Certainly they wanted to win instead of lose the semifinal game, but they'll get back up and be ready to fight in the next tournament!
That's all you can ask for. Keep on getting back in there. I pray my family and I learn that lesson in relationship to our spiritual lives too.
Last night we ended Connexion with the song "Give Me Faith." The chorus says, "My flesh may fail, but my God never will." Not exactly. Your flesh will fail, but God calls us to get back up and get in the fight (ok, now I'm mixing my metaphors). And certainly, he gives us the grace and strength to do it.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Double!
For grandparents who don't get to come to games, here's a look at Jake's double down the right field line. Forgive the cameraman.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Summer Devotions with the Boys
Each summer I break from whatever devotional series we are doing and do something different with the boys. Tonight I had a great idea for the coming summer and I'm looking forward to developing it for the next couple of months.
The boys listen to a lot of the same music I do; everything from Metallica, Korn and Shinedown (only selected songs - I do have to skip quite a few) to the Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons, and Springsteen. They each have their own taste and their own favorites. The plan is to dissect with the boys their favorite songs.
I'm sure their will be points where we'll have to stress the dissimilarity between the values of their favorite bands and our values informed by God's word, and that will be a good exercise. However, I hope this project can be more positive than that - affirming the truth of God that comes through even in pagan rock bands. Even pagan rock bands can appreciate beauty, value love (and sex), cry for justice, long for more than this world offers, etc. I'm sure there will be a lot of Schaeffer's "that's great, but it doesn't go far enough." Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting this one going. Any suggestions or resources would be welcomed.
The boys listen to a lot of the same music I do; everything from Metallica, Korn and Shinedown (only selected songs - I do have to skip quite a few) to the Civil Wars, Mumford and Sons, and Springsteen. They each have their own taste and their own favorites. The plan is to dissect with the boys their favorite songs.I'm sure their will be points where we'll have to stress the dissimilarity between the values of their favorite bands and our values informed by God's word, and that will be a good exercise. However, I hope this project can be more positive than that - affirming the truth of God that comes through even in pagan rock bands. Even pagan rock bands can appreciate beauty, value love (and sex), cry for justice, long for more than this world offers, etc. I'm sure there will be a lot of Schaeffer's "that's great, but it doesn't go far enough." Anyway, I'm looking forward to getting this one going. Any suggestions or resources would be welcomed.
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
Women are not supposed to submit to Men
I just read this post, "Women, Stop Submitting to Men" from Dr. Moore's blog (in case you aren't familiar with Dr. Moore, he's Dean of the School of Theology at Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY):
(Zondervan, 2005). One of the things that peeved me was how those in the complementarian camp turned to Genesis 1-3 and used those chapters to support the idea that women (as women) are called to submit to men (simply as men). For example, Schreiner writes, "We have already seen that men and women equally are made in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27) and are thus of equal value and significance as God's creatures. But I would also contend that there are six indications in Genesis 1-3 of a role differentiation between men and women [emphasis mine]." Later Schreiner contends, "The doctrine of creation is of enormous significance for the debate on the roles of men and women."
My point isn't to pick apart his "six indications," but to remind us that Adam and Eve weren't simply man and woman, but husband and wife. In fact, I use Genesis 2:23-25 in every wedding I do. What is true of their relationship may be true of men and women in general, but not necessarily - you'd have to support that with some other texts. I do see principles for how men and women are to relate in the family (and it is possible, though debated, that Paul applies these principles to the family of God), but I reject the idea that these principles are to be applied to all male/female relationships.
John Piper goes, in my opinion, way beyond what Scripture demands (and I think everyone knows I love Piper). In "A Vision for Biblical Complimentarity" (in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womandhood
) he asserts, "A mature woman who is married, for example, does not welcome the same kind of strength and leadership from other men that she welcomes from her husband. But she will affirm and receive and nurture the strength and leadership of men in some form in all her relationships with men" (50). He goes on to assert that when, in their vocations, women have men who are subordinate to them, they need to interact with these subordinates in ways "that signal to him and others her endorsement of his mature manhood in relationship to her as a women" (50). He goes so far as to suggest that if a women is asked by a man for directions, she needs to do so in a manner that ensures his manhood and leadership are not compromised (51). For these reasons, Piper thinks it is unbiblical for a woman to hold the office of President (she would be Commander in Chief and over the Armed Forces), showing how broadly he applies this principle of male leadership and female submission.
My opinion - that's nuts. Looking to these chapters and applying it beyond the husband wife relationship to men and women in general goes beyond what Scripture indicates. It may be true, but you need to argue it from other passages. More, I think teaching/preaching the notion that women are to submit to me is flat out dangerous. I have counseled more than one young women who thought she was supposed to submit to her boyfriend! Let me be real clear: a girlfriend is NOT called to submit to a boyfriend! What a recipe for disaster. Even if the man is a godly man, the dating couple begins to act and relate to each other in ways that to closely resemble the patterns of marriage. Dr. Moore articulates this well,"Sisters, there is no biblical category for 'boyfriend' or 'lover,' and you owe such designation no submission. In fact, to be submissive to your future husband you must stand back and evaluate, with rigid scrutiny, 'Is this the one who is to come, or is there another?' That requires an emotional and physical distance until there is a lifelong covenant made, until you stand before one who is your 'own husband.'"
Dr. Moore points out a few more dangers of this general call for women to submit to men. First,
"Too often in our culture, women and girls are pressured to submit to men, as a category. This is the reason so many women, even feminist women, are consumed with what men, in general, think of them. This is the reason a woman’s value in our society, too often, is defined in terms of sexual attractiveness and availability. Is it any wonder that so many of our girls and women are destroyed by a predatory patriarchy that demeans the dignity and glory of what it means to be a woman?"
In addition, "Additionally, too many predatory men have crept in among us, all too willing to exploit young women by pretending to be 'spiritual leaders' (2 Tim. 3:1-9; 2 Pet. 2). Do not be deceived: a man who will use spiritual categories for carnal purposes is a man who cannot be trusted with fidelity, with provision, with protection, with the fatherhood of children. The same is true for a man who will not guard the moral sanctity of a woman not, or not yet, his wife."
I do think you see elements of male leadership and female submission in the Genesis 1-3, but in the context of the covenant of marriage. These elements are subtle, and without Paul's words in Ephesians and other places, I wouldn't make much of them. But I think they are there, and they are still the pattern for husbands and wives. As such, the roles of leadership and submission in marriage are voluntary roles as we enter into the covenant of marriage voluntarily. Parallel to this is the Son's submission, voluntarily, to the Father in the Covenant of Redemption. It goes beyond Scripture to argue that the Son was eternally subordinate to the Father. Certainly he became subordinate in the incarnation, but that was a willing submission not borne out of inferiority or ontology. Instead, it was a humble submission chosen by the Son as part of the Covenant. Similarly, a wife's submission is not owed to her husband because he is male and she is female and thus ontologically inferior to him, but instead because she has agreed to take on that role as terms of the Covenant of Marriage, just as the husband has agreed to take on the role of leader.
My point isn't to elaborate extensively on what this kind of submission should look like in the husband-wife relationship, only to suggest that Genesis 1-3 speaks of this relationship and NOT of the male-female relationship broadly. I think we really need to get this right.
Those of us who hold to so-called “traditional gender roles” are often assumed to believe that women should submit to men. This isn’t true. Indeed, a primary problem in our culture and in our churches isn’t that women aren’t submissive enough to men, but instead that they are far too submissive.I couldn't agree more. The past month or two the staff has been engaged in reading together Two Views of Women in Miniatry
First of all, it just isn’t so that women are called to submit while men are not. In Scripture, every creature is called to submit, often in different ways and at different times. Children are to submit to their parents, although this is certainly a different sort of submission than that envisioned for marriage. Church members are to submit to faithful pastors (Heb. 13:17). All of us are to submit to the governing authorities (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Pet. 2:13-17). Of course, we are all to submit, as creatures, to our God (Jas. 4:7).
And, yes, wives are called to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22; 1 Pet. 3:1-6). But that’s just the point. In the Bible, it is not that women, generally, are to submit to men, generally. Instead, “wives” are to submit “to your own husbands” (1 Pet. 3:1).
(Zondervan, 2005). One of the things that peeved me was how those in the complementarian camp turned to Genesis 1-3 and used those chapters to support the idea that women (as women) are called to submit to men (simply as men). For example, Schreiner writes, "We have already seen that men and women equally are made in the image of God (Gen. 1:26-27) and are thus of equal value and significance as God's creatures. But I would also contend that there are six indications in Genesis 1-3 of a role differentiation between men and women [emphasis mine]." Later Schreiner contends, "The doctrine of creation is of enormous significance for the debate on the roles of men and women."My point isn't to pick apart his "six indications," but to remind us that Adam and Eve weren't simply man and woman, but husband and wife. In fact, I use Genesis 2:23-25 in every wedding I do. What is true of their relationship may be true of men and women in general, but not necessarily - you'd have to support that with some other texts. I do see principles for how men and women are to relate in the family (and it is possible, though debated, that Paul applies these principles to the family of God), but I reject the idea that these principles are to be applied to all male/female relationships.
John Piper goes, in my opinion, way beyond what Scripture demands (and I think everyone knows I love Piper). In "A Vision for Biblical Complimentarity" (in Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womandhood
) he asserts, "A mature woman who is married, for example, does not welcome the same kind of strength and leadership from other men that she welcomes from her husband. But she will affirm and receive and nurture the strength and leadership of men in some form in all her relationships with men" (50). He goes on to assert that when, in their vocations, women have men who are subordinate to them, they need to interact with these subordinates in ways "that signal to him and others her endorsement of his mature manhood in relationship to her as a women" (50). He goes so far as to suggest that if a women is asked by a man for directions, she needs to do so in a manner that ensures his manhood and leadership are not compromised (51). For these reasons, Piper thinks it is unbiblical for a woman to hold the office of President (she would be Commander in Chief and over the Armed Forces), showing how broadly he applies this principle of male leadership and female submission.
My opinion - that's nuts. Looking to these chapters and applying it beyond the husband wife relationship to men and women in general goes beyond what Scripture indicates. It may be true, but you need to argue it from other passages. More, I think teaching/preaching the notion that women are to submit to me is flat out dangerous. I have counseled more than one young women who thought she was supposed to submit to her boyfriend! Let me be real clear: a girlfriend is NOT called to submit to a boyfriend! What a recipe for disaster. Even if the man is a godly man, the dating couple begins to act and relate to each other in ways that to closely resemble the patterns of marriage. Dr. Moore articulates this well,"Sisters, there is no biblical category for 'boyfriend' or 'lover,' and you owe such designation no submission. In fact, to be submissive to your future husband you must stand back and evaluate, with rigid scrutiny, 'Is this the one who is to come, or is there another?' That requires an emotional and physical distance until there is a lifelong covenant made, until you stand before one who is your 'own husband.'"Dr. Moore points out a few more dangers of this general call for women to submit to men. First,
"Too often in our culture, women and girls are pressured to submit to men, as a category. This is the reason so many women, even feminist women, are consumed with what men, in general, think of them. This is the reason a woman’s value in our society, too often, is defined in terms of sexual attractiveness and availability. Is it any wonder that so many of our girls and women are destroyed by a predatory patriarchy that demeans the dignity and glory of what it means to be a woman?"
In addition, "Additionally, too many predatory men have crept in among us, all too willing to exploit young women by pretending to be 'spiritual leaders' (2 Tim. 3:1-9; 2 Pet. 2). Do not be deceived: a man who will use spiritual categories for carnal purposes is a man who cannot be trusted with fidelity, with provision, with protection, with the fatherhood of children. The same is true for a man who will not guard the moral sanctity of a woman not, or not yet, his wife."
I do think you see elements of male leadership and female submission in the Genesis 1-3, but in the context of the covenant of marriage. These elements are subtle, and without Paul's words in Ephesians and other places, I wouldn't make much of them. But I think they are there, and they are still the pattern for husbands and wives. As such, the roles of leadership and submission in marriage are voluntary roles as we enter into the covenant of marriage voluntarily. Parallel to this is the Son's submission, voluntarily, to the Father in the Covenant of Redemption. It goes beyond Scripture to argue that the Son was eternally subordinate to the Father. Certainly he became subordinate in the incarnation, but that was a willing submission not borne out of inferiority or ontology. Instead, it was a humble submission chosen by the Son as part of the Covenant. Similarly, a wife's submission is not owed to her husband because he is male and she is female and thus ontologically inferior to him, but instead because she has agreed to take on that role as terms of the Covenant of Marriage, just as the husband has agreed to take on the role of leader.
My point isn't to elaborate extensively on what this kind of submission should look like in the husband-wife relationship, only to suggest that Genesis 1-3 speaks of this relationship and NOT of the male-female relationship broadly. I think we really need to get this right.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Luke is up to bat
Yep Luke, not Jake or Caleb. Jake's fall-ball coach asked if Luke wanted to try and play in the last game of the season. He was so excited! Thanks Jeff.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Camping
We survived, though it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. Lynn made two trips back the house last night between 9pm-12am, once to get the kids ready for bed, the next time to get herself ready. Between Midnight and 5:30am the boys were up three times to go to the bathroom and once because, somehow, they had gotten all turned around in the tent. It took em about 20minutes to sort that out. The boys and I tore down camp while Lynn traveled home again to get herself ready for the day. Home by 10:30, set up tents in the back to dry. Now I'm ready for a nap.
It was fun. Probably will be more fun in memories than actually being there, if you know what I mean.
It was fun. Probably will be more fun in memories than actually being there, if you know what I mean.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Indianapolis Indians Game
We had a good time at the Indians game last night. Early inning were a little rough with the sun directly in your eyes, and that seem to make some little ones a little grumpy. But, a little food and the sun setting turned it all around and we had fun. Caleb got a few autographs - though you can't make them out and I don't knew who signed the yearbook. We left after the 9th with the game tied 5-5. Eventually the Indians won 7-6 in the 12th. Jury is still out on whether the boys like good seats at a Indianapolis game or the cheap seats at a Major League game.
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| From Baseball game in Indy |
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| From Baseball game in Indy |
Monday, July 25, 2011
Catechism #128-129
Oops. I neglected to post the last two questions from the Catechism. We finished it up last week. It took us just under a year to finish, which is ahead of pace (we did more questions per week on some weeks). I'd like to reflect and report on the catechism experience soon, but for now, here's the conclusion to the Heidelberg Catechism.
Question #128: What does your conclusion to this prayer mean?
Answer: "For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever" means, We have made all these requests of you because, as our all-powerful king, you not only want to, but are able to give us all that is good; and because your holy name, and not we ourselves, should receive all the praise, forever (Rom. 10:11-13; 2 Pet. 2:9; Ps. 115:1; John 14:13).
Question #129: What does that little word "Amen" express?
Answer: "Amen" means, This is sure to be! It is even more sure that God listens to my prayer, than that I really desire what I pray for (Isa. 65:24; 2 Cor. 1:20; 2 Tim. 2:13).
Question #128: What does your conclusion to this prayer mean?
Answer: "For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever" means, We have made all these requests of you because, as our all-powerful king, you not only want to, but are able to give us all that is good; and because your holy name, and not we ourselves, should receive all the praise, forever (Rom. 10:11-13; 2 Pet. 2:9; Ps. 115:1; John 14:13).
Question #129: What does that little word "Amen" express?
Answer: "Amen" means, This is sure to be! It is even more sure that God listens to my prayer, than that I really desire what I pray for (Isa. 65:24; 2 Cor. 1:20; 2 Tim. 2:13).
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Catechism #127
Question #127: What does the fifth request mean?
Answer: "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" means, Because of Christ's blood, do not hold against us, poor sinners that we are, any of the sins we do or the evil that constantly clings to us. Forgive us just as we are fully determined, as evidence of your grace in us, to forgive our neighbors (Ps. 51:1-7; 143:2; Rom. 8:1; 1 John 2:1-2; Matt. 6:14-15; 18:21-35).
Answer: "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors" means, Because of Christ's blood, do not hold against us, poor sinners that we are, any of the sins we do or the evil that constantly clings to us. Forgive us just as we are fully determined, as evidence of your grace in us, to forgive our neighbors (Ps. 51:1-7; 143:2; Rom. 8:1; 1 John 2:1-2; Matt. 6:14-15; 18:21-35).
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Catechism #125-126
Question #125: What does the fourth request mean?
Answer: "Give us today our daily bread" means, Do take care of all our physical needs so that we come to know that you are the only source of everything good, and that neither our work and worry nor your gifts can do us any good without your blessing. And so help us to give up our trust in creatures and to put trust in you alone (Ps. 104:27-30; 145:15-16; Matt. 6:25-34; Acts 14:17; 17:25; James 1:17; Deut. 8:3; Ps. 37:16; 127:1-2; 1 Cor. 15:58; Ps. 55:22; 62; 146; Jer. 17:5-8; Heb. 13:5-6).
Question #126: What does the fifth request mean?
Answer: "Forgive us our debts,as we also have forgiven our debtors" means, Because of Christ's blood, do not hold against us, poor sinners that we are, any of the sins we do or the evil that constantly clings to us. Forgive us just as we are fully determined, as evidence of your grace in us, to forgive our neighbors (Ps. 51:1-7; 143:2; Rom. 8:1; 1 John 2:1-2; Matt. 6:14-15; 18:21-35)
Answer: "Give us today our daily bread" means, Do take care of all our physical needs so that we come to know that you are the only source of everything good, and that neither our work and worry nor your gifts can do us any good without your blessing. And so help us to give up our trust in creatures and to put trust in you alone (Ps. 104:27-30; 145:15-16; Matt. 6:25-34; Acts 14:17; 17:25; James 1:17; Deut. 8:3; Ps. 37:16; 127:1-2; 1 Cor. 15:58; Ps. 55:22; 62; 146; Jer. 17:5-8; Heb. 13:5-6).
Question #126: What does the fifth request mean?
Answer: "Forgive us our debts,as we also have forgiven our debtors" means, Because of Christ's blood, do not hold against us, poor sinners that we are, any of the sins we do or the evil that constantly clings to us. Forgive us just as we are fully determined, as evidence of your grace in us, to forgive our neighbors (Ps. 51:1-7; 143:2; Rom. 8:1; 1 John 2:1-2; Matt. 6:14-15; 18:21-35)
Thursday, July 07, 2011
Catechism #124
Question #124: What does the third request mean?
Answer: "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" means,Help us and all people to reject our own wills and to obey your will without any back talk. Your will alone is good. Help us one and all to carry out the work we are called to, as willingly and faithfully as the angels in heaven (Matt. 7:21; 16:24-26; Luke 22:42; Rom. 12:1-2; Tit. 2:11-12; 1 Cor. 7:17-24; Eph. 6:5-9; Ps. 103:20-21).
Answer: "Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven" means,Help us and all people to reject our own wills and to obey your will without any back talk. Your will alone is good. Help us one and all to carry out the work we are called to, as willingly and faithfully as the angels in heaven (Matt. 7:21; 16:24-26; Luke 22:42; Rom. 12:1-2; Tit. 2:11-12; 1 Cor. 7:17-24; Eph. 6:5-9; Ps. 103:20-21).
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Catechism #122-123
Question #122: What does the first request mean?
Answer: "Hallowed be your name" means, Help us to really know you, to bless, worship, and praise you for all your works and for all that shines forth from them: your almighty power, wisdom, kindness, justice, mercy, and truth. And it means, Help us to direct all our living— what we think, say, and do—so that your name will never be blasphemed because of us but always honored and praised (Jer. 9:23-24; 31:33-34; Matt. 16:17; John 17:3; Ex. 34:5-8; Ps. 145; Jer. 32:16-20; Luke 1:46-55, 68-75; Rom. 11:33-36; Ps. 115:1; Matt. 5:16).
Question #123: What does the second request mean?
Answer: "Your kingdom come" means, Rule us by your Word and Spirit in such a way that more and more we submit to you. Keep your church strong, and add to it. Destroy the devil's work; destroy every force which revolts against you and every conspiracy against your Word. Do this until your kingdom is so complete and perfect that in it you are all in all (Ps. 119:5, 105; 143:10; Matt. 6:33; Ps. 122:6-9; Matt. 16:18; Acts 2:42-47; Rom. 16:20; 1 John 3:8; Rom. 8:22-23; 1 Cor. 15:28; Rev. 22:17, 20).
Answer: "Hallowed be your name" means, Help us to really know you, to bless, worship, and praise you for all your works and for all that shines forth from them: your almighty power, wisdom, kindness, justice, mercy, and truth. And it means, Help us to direct all our living— what we think, say, and do—so that your name will never be blasphemed because of us but always honored and praised (Jer. 9:23-24; 31:33-34; Matt. 16:17; John 17:3; Ex. 34:5-8; Ps. 145; Jer. 32:16-20; Luke 1:46-55, 68-75; Rom. 11:33-36; Ps. 115:1; Matt. 5:16).
Question #123: What does the second request mean?
Answer: "Your kingdom come" means, Rule us by your Word and Spirit in such a way that more and more we submit to you. Keep your church strong, and add to it. Destroy the devil's work; destroy every force which revolts against you and every conspiracy against your Word. Do this until your kingdom is so complete and perfect that in it you are all in all (Ps. 119:5, 105; 143:10; Matt. 6:33; Ps. 122:6-9; Matt. 16:18; Acts 2:42-47; Rom. 16:20; 1 John 3:8; Rom. 8:22-23; 1 Cor. 15:28; Rev. 22:17, 20).
Friday, July 01, 2011
Catechism #120-121
Question #120: Why did Christ command us to call God "our Father"?
Answer: At the very beginning of our prayer Christ wants to kindle in us what is basic to our prayer— the childlike awe and trust that God through Christ has become our Father. Our fathers do not refuse us the things of this life; God our Father will even less refuse to give us what we ask in faith (Matt. 7:9-11; Luke 11:11-13).
Question #121: Why the words "in heaven"?
Answer: These words teach us not to think of God's heavenly majesty as something earthly, and to expect everything for body and soul from his almighty power (Jer. 23:23-24; Acts 17:24-25; Matt. 6:25-34; Rom. 8:31-32).
Answer: At the very beginning of our prayer Christ wants to kindle in us what is basic to our prayer— the childlike awe and trust that God through Christ has become our Father. Our fathers do not refuse us the things of this life; God our Father will even less refuse to give us what we ask in faith (Matt. 7:9-11; Luke 11:11-13).
Question #121: Why the words "in heaven"?
Answer: These words teach us not to think of God's heavenly majesty as something earthly, and to expect everything for body and soul from his almighty power (Jer. 23:23-24; Acts 17:24-25; Matt. 6:25-34; Rom. 8:31-32).
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Catechism #118-119
Question #118: What did God command us to pray for?
Answer: Everything we need, spiritually and physically, as embraced in the prayer Christ our Lord himself taught us (James 1:17; Matt. 6:33).
Question #119: What is this prayer?
Answer: Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For yours is the kingdom
and the power
and the glory forever.
Amen.
(Matt. 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4; Earlier and better manuscripts of Matthew 6 omit the words "For yours is . . . Amen.")
Answer: Everything we need, spiritually and physically, as embraced in the prayer Christ our Lord himself taught us (James 1:17; Matt. 6:33).
Question #119: What is this prayer?
Answer: Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.
For yours is the kingdom
and the power
and the glory forever.
Amen.
(Matt. 6:9-13; Luke 11:2-4; Earlier and better manuscripts of Matthew 6 omit the words "For yours is . . . Amen.")
Monday, June 20, 2011
Catechism #116-117
Question #116: Why do Christians need to pray?
Answer: Because prayer is the most important part of the thankfulness God requires of us. And also because God gives his grace and Holy Spirit only to those who pray continually and groan inwardly, asking God for these gifts and thanking him for them (Ps. 50:14-15; 116:12-19; 1 Thess. 5:16-18; Matt. 7:7-8; Luke 11:9-13).
Question #117: How does God want us to pray so that he will listen to us?
Answer: First, we must pray from the heart to no other than the one true God, who has revealed himself in his Word, asking for everything he has commanded us to ask for. Second, we must acknowledge our need and misery, hiding nothing, and humble ourselves in his majestic presence. Third, we must rest on this unshakable foundation: even though we do not deserve it, God will surely listen to our prayer because of Christ our Lord. That is what he promised us in his Word (Ps. 145:18-20; John 4:22-24; Rom. 8:26-27; James 1:5; 1 John 5:14-15; 2 Chron. 7:14; Ps. 2:11; 34:18; 62:8; Isa. 66:2; Rev. 4; Dan. 9:17-19; Matt. 7:8; John 14:13-14; 16:23; Rom. 10:13; James 1:6).
Answer: Because prayer is the most important part of the thankfulness God requires of us. And also because God gives his grace and Holy Spirit only to those who pray continually and groan inwardly, asking God for these gifts and thanking him for them (Ps. 50:14-15; 116:12-19; 1 Thess. 5:16-18; Matt. 7:7-8; Luke 11:9-13).
Question #117: How does God want us to pray so that he will listen to us?
Answer: First, we must pray from the heart to no other than the one true God, who has revealed himself in his Word, asking for everything he has commanded us to ask for. Second, we must acknowledge our need and misery, hiding nothing, and humble ourselves in his majestic presence. Third, we must rest on this unshakable foundation: even though we do not deserve it, God will surely listen to our prayer because of Christ our Lord. That is what he promised us in his Word (Ps. 145:18-20; John 4:22-24; Rom. 8:26-27; James 1:5; 1 John 5:14-15; 2 Chron. 7:14; Ps. 2:11; 34:18; 62:8; Isa. 66:2; Rev. 4; Dan. 9:17-19; Matt. 7:8; John 14:13-14; 16:23; Rom. 10:13; James 1:6).
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