There is a great post on Dr. Moore's website about dealing with a potential spouses sexual past. Here's a few highlights:
"I’ve seen several budding relationships wrecked by a “DTR” (”define the relationship” talk) about such matters that formed, prematurely, an inappropriate emotional intimacy."
"On the one hand, a man who glibly dismisses his past immorality is dangerous, for your future marriage and your future children. On the other hand, your dismissing him automatically on the basis of immorality is also dangerous."
"You are not “owed” a virgin because you are."
"Jesus was a virgin. His Bride wasn’t. He loved us anyway."
Read the whole thing: How Much Do I Need to Know About My Potential Spouse’s Sexual Past? My Response
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3 comments:
Wow! The article was interesting and convicting, but what's been even more interesting for me is watching the arguments unfold in the comments section at the end of the post. I had no idea that there was so much hostility in the Christian community about this topic. Could you address the arguments and give your opinion as well?
When I checked on it, there were over 70 comments! Not sure I'll have to search through them, so if you have any particulars in mind or could describe the argument, that would be helpful! Thanks.
Thank you! :) It's a little confusing, but the biggest disagreement seems to be between two groups of Christians arguing in the comments about whether it is wrong to end a God-honoring, loving relationship for the sole reason that the other person is not a virgin when you are. Some people are arguing that they'll marry a virgin or they won't marry at all and that God will honor that desire in them because it's pure, while others are arguing that it is prideful and unforgiving to end a good relationship simply for that reason. I guess I'm having trouble understanding why some Christians (and incidentally, they're all men that are commenting about this) are so fixated on virginity in their future spouse above other characteristics. (I'm a girl, still in college, and never been married/sexually active.) I don't see what the big deal is but would really like to understand the reasoning because it's clear some people are very passionate about the subject.
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